naming

When a baby is born and both mother and child are well (and the father is recovering nicely!), we bubble over with excitement and joy. We want to tell everybody and we want to celebrate. Often we throw a party.....

But sometimes we also wish to find a way of expressing our thoughts carefully about the difference this child is going to make to us:

Religious people do this with some form of initiation ceremony such as the Christian christening. A non-religious or humanist naming ceremony is often similar in form to a religious ceremony, it will express some of the same ideals, but there is no mystique about it. There is no value in a naming ceremony, other than the value we give to it; its meaning is no more and no less than the meaning we have chosen to place upon it, but we would hope that one day the child in question would be pleased to discover that we have welcomed his/her arrival with thoughtfulness, as well as with festivity.

Further more, it's no bad thing for all of us to reminded from time to time, that it is our task as members of society to seek to achieve a safe and healthy environment for our children; and a society in which high ideals and values are respected ; a humanist naming or welcoming ceremony can express this - although that's a somewhat serious message, it is an occasion when parents and families can pledge their commitment to the new child ; after all, by all our social striving, and more personally, by our love and friendship, we can ease the growth and development of the children in our midst, until they take their place as adults alongside us in the world - a naming/welcoming ceremony marks the first step towards that end.

A ceremony held shortly after a birth in the family is an occasion to celebrate the baby's safe arrival. At the same time it is an opportunity for the parents and others to state their commitment to the child's welfare. It brings friends and relatives together to greet the new member of the family with love and affection, and it expresses the importance of the event in a formal way.

Like all humanist ceremonies a child's naming or welcoming ceremony is specially composed for the occasion, and the form it takes will vary, following the wishes of the parents. Sometimes other children in the family will be included in the ceremony. Sometimes several babies from a group of friends can be welcomed together. When the child is adopted, the wording will be rather different and the occasion may be even more special.

Instead of godparents, who undertake to see that the child is brought up in the Christian faith, the parents may wish to choose relatives or friends to become 'supporting adults' or 'mentors', 'or special friends'. They pledge to take a special interest in the child's development and give support to the parents. They can also be there in the future, as a refuge for the child outside the immediate family circle.

As well as the parents expressing their love and commitment to their child, they might want to mark the occasion in various ways: with a book in which everyone present can write a message for the child to read when they are older. Perhaps a tree or a rose might be planted if you have a garden; and often it is an opportunity to thank the grandparents. You might like to 'honour' other family members or friends by asking them to read a poem, or to add a few words - this is a wonderful way of including other children in the family too. Perhaps a grandparent or aunt/uncle might like to close the ceremony with a 'toast' to the child, followed by the cutting of a cake. There are many ideas to make the ceremony unique, more special and memorable.

If the child is already a few months old, everyone will be very used to their name and you may wish to make the ceremony more of a 'Special Welcome' - you may wish to include older children at the same time as a newer arrival.

On all occasions the children in question will be presented with a Naming/Welcoming Certificate and should you want, this can be presented as part of the ceremony.

You may already have a friend or relative in mind, who you think would be able to lead the ceremony, but should you prefer something a little more formal, a Humanist will be glad to act as a Celebrant for you.

I'm Vivienne C. Donnithorne and I'm a Fully Accredited Celebrant for the British Humanist Association. I have years of experience preparing and conducting ceremonies that don't mention religion - I do this in such a way that all your family and friends, what ever their background, can relate to what is being said.

Most parents choose to hold the ceremony at the start of a celebratory party, either at their own home, grandparents home or at a special venue. If the weather is fine, the ceremony can take place in the garden and the ceremony can be as long or short as you wish, but usually lasts about twenty minutes.

Should all of this strike a chord with you and you would like to know the best way to start preparing a ceremony for your baby or child, then you might like to contact either myself, or the British Humanist Association.

Vivienne C Donnithorne is a Fully Accredited Celebrant and Officiant for the British Humanist Association, she writes and conducts bespoke non-religious ceremonies - namings, weddings and funerals in London and the Home Counties.